I am so blessed.

As I sat here reading facebook updates, I noticed there seemed to be a lot of people posting in the Barnes and Noble booksellers group about changes within the company. They mention things such as low morale, hour cuts [and subsequent loss of benefits], reactions to their CEO resigning. I couldn't help but compare that to where I am right now: on the cusp of graduation.

I all but gave up my hopes for going to college shortly after I graduated high school when my parents reaffirmed that they would not pay for me to go even though I had been accepted to various schools [2005]. I started working full-time at B&N and was quickly promoted to lead. In 2006, I was approached as a potential candidate for a management position, and they began training me for such. Early 2007, there was an opening in my store for a merch. manager. The choice to fill that position fell between me and this other older gentleman who had been working as head cashier. I was later informed by the store manager that the other guy got the promotion because they figured he'd have more respect from the employees because he was older. Admittedly, I was perturbed over this decision. I had been with the company longer and had more experience with floor operations, and knew I had the respect of my colleagues and other managers. But at the same time, I understood their decision. I was barely 19 at the time. Then one day while I was working, the thought came to me that I needed to apply for school at BYU-I. It was out of the blue, and I thought, "why? I don't have money. I'm doing well enough here. I'm comfortable." Nevertheless, I went home and applied. I don't remember all the details, but when my letter of acceptance came I remember walking into the kitchen and telling my mom, "Hey, so it looks like I'm going to be going to Idaho..."

That decision set in motion a chain of events that I had only dreamed about. But it wasn't easy. There's nothing like having the district manager come search you out on one of his store visits to ask you to stay with the company upon learning that you are leaving for school. Talk about tempting. He even asked what he could do to make me stay; "name your price." But I knew I needed to be in Idaho. Even still, I had never lived so far from my family [heck, they all live relatively close together!], much less by myself. And, I'm quite possibly the biggest chicken you'll ever meet. I like my comfort zones. Nevertheless, away I went.

Here in Idaho I have met many people who have had such a major impact on my life. If I hadn't met Jeremy in 2009, then I wouldn't have met his mom. Weird, right? But when I told her about my desire to serve a full-time mission, she encouraged me and offered to help with my papers. That encouragement led me to meet the wonderful people in Houston, Texas, whom I served among and learned to love. More than gaining a stronger testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I also learned more about personal revelation, and receiving answers to prayers.

I came home and decided that I wanted to pursue a degree in English so I could be an editor. I knew I loved reading, that was part of the reason I loved working at B&N so much, and I spell better than most people, so getting a "real job" in that field seemed like a smart move.

I have spent the past two years working to that end. Here I am. A week away from graduation with an English degree with an emphasis in professional writing and Spanish. I look at the situation with B&N and I'm so grateful that I sought higher education. There are people getting laid off or not able to work enough to earn a living, and I can't help but think that could have been me. With only a high school diploma and retail experience, my options would have been limited to a different branch of retail. Having worked at a couple of different companies, I can tell you that is not very appealing. (There is something wonderfully special about bookstores and their clientele.) Instead, I am still unsure of what I will do after graduation, but I know I have a lot of options. I can always get a job as a technical writer if I can't immediately find a job editing books.

None of this would have been possible if I hadn't received that prompting many years ago to reapply to school. For that I am thankful for the awareness my Heavenly Father has of me. I know that he knows me well, and has a plan for me. He only wants for me to be happy. Eight years ago I would never have imagined all the things I've done/experienced in my life. All the great people that I've met. I have truly been blessed.

(I have been back to work at B&N a few times since 2007, and I still love the place...if you couldn't tell. It's my favorite retail job. :D )