[rh8] Ralph: Polyamorous Living.

Definitions:

Polyamorous relationships:
Simultaneous relationships of a sexual, intellectual, or emotional nature, or a combination of these elements.

Lover: A person with whom one has a relationship outside of the couple. The nature of this relationship may vary.

Partner: A person with whom one shares his or her life. This term is broader than husband/wife, given that many couples are not married but are still life partners, even if they do not live under the same roof.

Poly men/women: Men and women who have polyamorous relationships.

Polyamory: The lifestyle of poly men and women.

Monogamy: The dominant model for life as a couple, understood here to be defined as exclusive monogamy, whereby outside relationships are forbidden.


"Take, for example, the Mormon Church, for whose members polygamy was practiced during a period when they were subject to much persecution. At that time, many men died in combat, leaving behind wives and children who were destitute and had nowhere to turn. There was no choice but to allow men to marry multiple times, in order that these widows could benefit from the support of a family structure."

"Monogamy in the West is justified by the official stance that it is impossible to love more than one person at a time - a dogma that is built upon the confusion of love and passion. In other words, passionate love is an intense, narcissistic feeling of attachment that can simply not be shared. However, it is universally agreed that after its initially passionate stage, love must evolve into the building of a life together in order to stay alive, and this being the case, it is as unreasonable to continue to demand exclusivity as it would be to demand exclusive love for a child or a friend."

"Monogamy, therefore, favors consumerism, presented as the key to growth, prosperity, and, by consequence, happiness with a materialistic society. One final theory, clearly linked to the previous one, is that monogamy corresponds directly to values of ownership and power, as promoted by a market society. To be married is to be the sole keeper of another being for one's exclusive enjoyment, much to the satisfaction of the dominant narcissist who lies dormant in so many individuals."

Having exclusive love for one person is like demanding to love only one of your child.


This model, however, must be flawed, given that one in three marriages (one in tow in the Paris region) ends in diverse, not counting the couples who remain married despite a lack of happiness and fulfillment. Logic dictates, therefore, that while we may keep this model for the third of households for whom it rings true, we are in need of other romantic options to act not as Band-Aids for the existing one, but rather as new concepts.

Unfortunately, it can be extremely difficult to change the logic of thought.


We prefer to live with hidden affairs or to look for erotic distractions, but certainly not to question the underlying logic of this model and not to ask ourselves whether another way of thinking is possible.

Fight with jealousy.
Being Polyamorous means fighting with jealousy.

Edited by: Highway is effective, Indian officer http://highwayiseffective.com